Funny, witty, charming, charismatic, full of love
Everyone knew Butch for his sense of humor. He was a tall, larger man, with a big personality. He loved muscle cars, classic rock, and spending time with his family. An only child, Butch was close with his mother, Statia, and his Uncle Allen, the namesake of his son. He served five years in the Navy as an aviation mechanic and diver. Butch met his wife, Lesley, in Virginia. They had their children, Allen, and Lauren, and settled into a normal life.
Butch loved spending quality time with his family. He volunteered as a coach for his son, Allen’s, sport teams, and was supportive of his daughter’s interest in gymnastics. When his work schedule allowed it, he took Lauren to practice and to gymnastic meets in various states. She was a daddy’s girl. Butch enjoyed mowing the lawn and spent countless summers at the neighborhood swim club with the family. After Lauren went off the diving board, showing off her gymnastic skills, Butch would follow with a big cannonball. Afterward, he would lounge by the pool with Lesley.
The family’s vacations were usually combined with gymnastic meets. They drove in the Buick Regal to the tune of the Traveling Wilburys, with Butch sipping on his Coke, filled with a package of peanuts as they drove. They also camped out at Butch’s uncle’s farm, riding three wheelers through the open pastures. He loved watching movies and hanging around the house on the weekends. On Sundays, the family went to church where Butch would belt out Amazing Grace. “He wasn’t always the best, but he was certainly the loudest,” Lauren stated. He also loved Chinese food, something that Lauren still enjoys today.
Butch was a prankster, even at his work as a biomedical technician at the Veteran’s Administration Center, where he would put fake snakes in people’s desks to give them a good scare.
Butch had an alcohol addiction well before he began misusing the drugs prescribed for his chronic pain. It created tension between him and Lesley. “His personality would change pretty drastically and it would cause him to make irrational decisions,” Lauren commented. No matter how bad it got, Lesley was there to pick him up and encourage him to get on track; and he would, for a time. Eventually, he would relapse and there would be setbacks, financially and emotionally.
The four years prior to their deaths, when Butch and Lesley were misusing their prescriptions, they were fighting to keep a roof over their head. “They went to family members to borrow money that they could never pay back,” Lauren stated. Feeling ashamed, they never disclosed their opioid addictions or asked for the help they needed. The couple died within five hours of each other. “I wish they hadn’t been so good at hiding it. Maybe the outcome would have been different,” Lauren offered.
Lauren now has a heart for those who suffer from substance use disorder, and a desire to help them find their way to recovery. She misses road trips with her parents, reading inspirational quotes and scripture with them, holiday meals, and being a family. She is especially sad that their first-born grandson, Mason, will never know her parents, but she appreciates the skills they gave her to be a good mom.
Lauren hopes that sharing her parents’ story here, and in her book, Shatterproof, will inspire others to “step out of their fears to unlock the shackles of shame and find freedom from addiction.”
Butch’s daughter, Lauren Sisler, provided the information for this narrative.
March 20, 1951-March 24, 2003-Age 52
Portrait Artist: Elizabeth Jones
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
