Nicholas Alexander Zirlott

Nicholas Alexander Zirlott

Charismatic, mannerful, polite, caring, loving

With the heart of someone three times his size, Nic never let his diminutive stature stop him from standing up for others and his own beliefs. He admired servicemen of all backgrounds and jumped at any chance of joining them. At age fourteen, he volunteered as a local junior firefighter, riding along on calls and learning valuable skills. His passion and dedication earned him higher scores on competency tests than some of the adult volunteers. He was not afraid to use these skills at a moment’s notice, either. His mother, Amy, recalled one night when, after witnessing a stabbing at a concert, Nic immediately acted to staunch the wound and comfort the victim until the emergency medical services arrived. “He didn’t worry about the blood or lack of gloves,” Amy said. “His former training to save lives kicked in and he did what he had to do, regardless of his safety or lack thereof.”

Nic dreamed of joining the military or law enforcement. He and his closest friends—Adam, Lance, and Gage—joined the Junior ROTC together in high school. Nic quickly became a highly awarded cadet, but never forgot to have fun outside of his duties. Amy fondly recalls the four inseparable friends goofing around and laughing in their JROTC camouflage. As an only child, these friends were Nic’s brothers. But his closest relationship was with Amy: “From the time he was a little boy, he always came to me at night and told me goodnight, my heart goes to you, your heart goes to me.”

Nic was empathetic and keenly aware of others’ feelings. Amy believed that this might have been the catalyst for his experimenting with substances. “It numbed those feelings,” she shared, “because he felt too much, cared too much. It genuinely hurt him when others were suffering.” His struggles with mental health and substance use disorder interfered with his ability to graduate from high school. He was unable to pursue his dreams. It was as if SUD had robbed Nic of himself. “It stole the light from his eyes, the passion in his heart,” Amy said. “It turned him into someone that was self-centered and self-seeking when he was actively using. The constant worry was exhausting. To watch your child go into paranoid psychosis was one of the hardest things I’ve ever witnessed. He made multiple attempts on his life because he felt like there was no other way to escape it.” Nic died of fentanyl poisoning just one month after his friend Lance’s tragic passing.

Amy has made it her mission to speak out and make much-needed changes in the mental healthcare system. She has also joined many organizations advocating for those experiencing SUD, one of which was featured in People Magazine. Nic was chosen to represent those who have passed away from fentanyl poisoning in Alabama. Amy misses his hugs, his mischievous laugh, his goofy personality, his smile. She is grateful that one of his hobbies–creating music–left her with a way to hear him again. “I miss his voice, and the way he would always call me if he was upset or needed help. I miss everything about him, and would give anything to hear him just once more.”

Nic’s mother, Amy Todd, provided the information for this narrative.
May 11, 2001-September 23, 2022–Age 21

Portrait Artist: Jason Irwin
Narrative Writer: Angela Day

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