Loving, joyful, kind-hearted, free-spirited, put together
Lesley grew up with her sister, Linda and older brother, Ross, in a loving home with her parents, who she adored. She went to community college, but didn’t set out to have a career. Her greatest desire in life was to become a wife and mother. She became both after meeting Butch, at Jumbo’s Pizza and Subs, in Roanoke, VA. Their daughter, Lauren, said they exchanged love letters while her dad was away at boot camp. “I have those letters… they are so sweet and special.”
Lesley relished her role, being home with Lauren and her older brother, Allen. It gave her the ability to prepare them well for adulthood. A loving woman, she radiated a loving smile and was the mom that all of her kid’s friends wanted to be around.
While Lesley was loving and joyful, she was also very by the book. A rule follower, she kept the kids and her husband, Butch, in check. Discipline was loving, but firm, and she kept the budget tight with Butch. “They were a balanced match,” Lauren stated.
Lesley was Lauren’s biggest cheerleader when her gymnastics career took off. The two would jam out to old classic rock in the car on the way to and from practices and meets. “I can still see my mom, hand in the air, shaking it to the beat of the music,” Lauren pondered.
She was also the “team mom” for Allen’s sports involvement in baseball, football, and basketball.
Holidays were a big deal in the Sisler’s home. Cooking and entertaining were Lesley’s love language. She made great meals like her famous sausage gravy, chili, and beef stroganoff. She cooked for the masses when Allen and Lauren had friends or teammates over and decorated and cooked for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
Lauren’s parents had just built their dream home in Newport, VA. when Lesley was diagnosed with degenerative disk disease, and Butch began suffering from chronic pain. They were both prescribed opioids for pain, and over the four years of their addiction, increasingly misused them. Dreams of having a beautiful and vibrant garden could not be realized as Lesley’s pain increased. She could be short-tempered, and Butch could make irrational decisions.
Lesley and her sister, Linda, formed a unique bond. Linda took Lesley shopping or out to lunch to distract her from the pain. But Lesley’s addiction persisted and eventually led to her death at age 45. It was only after the passing of their parents that Lauren and Allen, who lived away from home, found out about their parent’s addiction and financial losses.
Lauren’s parents died when she was 18 and in her first year of college. They never witnessed her graduation or her successful career as an ESPN college football sideline reporter. Lauren stated: “I can hear them cheering me on through life, smiling and applauding my greatest accomplishments and picking me up when I get down.”
After her parent’s passing, Lauren began to understand addiction. She realized that her parents were not defined by how they died, but by how they lived. Lauren sees it as her mission to be a voice for others who can’t speak up because of feeling shame. She has recently written a book, Shatterproof, about her experiences and is on the board of a non-profit in Birmingham. She endeavors to help people emerge from the shadows of shame about addiction, regain control of their lives, and find hope in their journey to recovery.
Lesley’s daughter, Lauren Sisler, provided the information for this narrative.
December 19,1957-March 24, 2003-Age 45
Portrait Artist: Elizabeth Jones
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
