Outgoing, friendly, always smiling, generous, loving
Known as T.J., Michael Todd McCarver Jr. was a larger-than-life personality. Friendly, gregarious, and constantly smiling, he was the first son, grandson, nephew, and cousin in the family and was adored by everyone. T.J.’s sister, Taylin McCarver, remembers him as “larger than life, a huge goofball, and a great friend. He had a big, very contagious smile that radiated through everyone around him.” T.J. came from a tight-knit family and was close to Taylin, and his parents, Todd, and Tami.
Never content to just sit around, T.J. loved outdoor activities such as hunting, fishing, mudding, and riding four-wheelers. He also enjoyed fixing things, had a lawn care business, and worked hard on any task he was given. T.J. even pursued becoming a journeyman electrician, but unfortunately, his struggles with substance use disorder (SUD) ultimately prevented him from completing this goal.
T.J. never met a stranger and could talk to anyone. As a result, he had many friends. Some of his closest friendships were made during his struggle to achieve sobriety. T.J.’s family remains in contact with some of the people he befriended in treatment, and Taylin maintains that “T.J.’s bright, funky, full of life personality gave them the little spark of positivity that they may not have had before they met him.”
During the last few years of his life, T.J. had a young son and was passionate about getting his life on track for his child. He continued working for various lawn care businesses and even thought about trying to finish his work to become an electrician. T.J. also remained dedicated to outdoor activities, seeing live music, and being with his friends.
Taylin noticed that T.J. was very different when he was struggling with addiction. He would lie and steal from his family, even putting them in danger from break-ins. Physically, he appeared gaunt, sunken-eyed, and disheveled. Eventually, the addiction forced T.J.’s family to sever ties with him in the hope they could convince him to stay sober. It was difficult for Taylin during these times not knowing where her brother was or even if he was still alive. She recalls “We would have done anything for him to be sober and consistent in our lives, but we wanted it more than he did, and that never works out.”
Today T.J.’s family raises money for the Addiction Prevention Coalition by selling t-shirts. The funds from that effort go directly to sponsor individuals to get into treatment programs. The family also remains passionate about telling T.J.’s story to help others understand “that addiction comes in all paths of life and does not discriminate.” They hope that their experiences can help other families struggling with substance use disorder issues.
T.J.’s sister, Taylin McCarver, provided the information for this narrative.
February 28, 1991-August 19, 2018-Age 27
Portrait Artist: Shawn Faust
Narrative Writer: Justin Robertson
