Loving, kindness, full of fire
“Charity embodied the essence of fire and music in human form. Her spirit was unparalleled, brimming with boundless joy, passion, and dreams. As a dancer, singer, and fire spinner, she moved with a grace that seemed enchanted by the music itself,” her sister, Courtney, remembers. Charity was endlessly talented. Whether fire spinning, swinging poi, or singing, she moved with music in her soul. She danced in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade twice as a teen and competed nationally in dance and pom in high school, even qualifying in elementary school. Later, Charity got an associate’s degree.
Family was everything to her, and she grew up in a large, vibrant household. With three sisters—Courtney, Carly, and Arwen—and two brothers, Brady, and Christopher. Courtney recalls sharing a room with Charity when they were little girls. At bedtime, Charity had trouble sleeping, and the two sisters would reach out to hold hands between the bunk bed until Charity could drift off. Courtney reminisces, “among our many shared childhood experiences, the ones that stand out the most are those late nights, my arm going numb from being extended upwards, just to hold on to her little hand.” Charity always wanted to be near family, close enough to touch hands.
Aris Nebula, Charity’s daughter, was the center of her life. Nothing mattered more and her love for her daughter was absolute. Charity and Aris Nebula were rarely apart, dancing, singing, and playing together. Charity was working on building a tiny house on her dad’s land. She dreamed of finishing it and raising Aris Nebula there. Charity planned on homeschooling her daughter and cultivating the land.
The last time that Courtney saw her sister, they stayed up late doing Charity’s hair. Though ordinary, it was always these simple moments that the sisters cherished most—family time, birthday parties, holidays, or dinners, simply for the sake of being together.
Substance use disease made Charity unpredictable and prone to anger. While she initially hid the effects, the extent of her intense battle became clear in her final years. Charity’s shame and fear hindered her from seeking help, often leaving her family unaware of her struggles. Since Charity’s passing, Courtney has found herself deeply adrift. She now dedicates herself to advocating for those affected by substance use disorder, both in her personal life and with local organizations. Reflecting on Charity’s legacy, Courtney wishes to emphasize: “She was, and is, and always will be, more than her disease. Everyone who struggles is more than their disease”
Charity’s sister, Courtney Onderdonk, provided the information for this narrative.
December 6, 1993-November 8, 2023: Age 29
Portrait Artist: Shawn Faust
Narrative Writer: Livia Cohen
