Empathetic, kind, joyful, beautiful, courageous
rowing up in the country far from busy cities, Amber and her older sister, Adriana, often had to create their own entertainment. Luckily, Amber knew how to have fun. Whether it was horseback riding or swimming, attending sprint car races and concerts, or visiting family to personally decorate their Christmas trees, Amber was the life of the party. She had an instinct for making sure everyone around her had fun, too. When the sisters spent summers with their cousin Brie in Minnesota, Amber led adventures to the Mall of America, or facilitated quiet time crafting, binging Star Trek, and playing board games—always attentive to ensure Brie, who uses a wheelchair, could participate. “She was definitely the funny one out of the two of us,” Adriana said. “She would make anyone laugh. And she loved to have crazy hair!”
Amber was a young woman of many passions; a gifted painter and photographer, she also enjoyed working in the mud with her animals. She had a mischievous habit of spraying anyone near her with the hose whenever she was washing her sheep. Of all the animals she nurtured and displayed at the county fair, her dog, Tazz, was her most beloved companion. Amber found joy in caring for everyone and everything she encountered—family, friend, pet, or otherwise. While attending high school, Amber attended Des Moines Area Community College and earned her Certified Nursing Assistant certification. She took pride in her work as a nursing home aide.
“Amber was full of love and light,” Adriana shared. “She never knew a stranger and longed to help everyone, from people to animals. She had a huge, caring heart and felt for everyone. She was the light of her family, with a bubbly personality and the most contagious laugh.”
Amber’s liveliness sometimes masked her deep thoughtfulness. Her brand of compassion and kindness did not come with sugar-coating, a mentality reflective of her worldview. She was a realist. When she actively used substances, it made her more aware of the lack of control she had in her life. It scared her. She often ran from her troubles or was incarcerated. Even when she was physically present, her demeanor could be unrecognizable, robbing her of her natural light and leaving her empty.
In her times of fear and her greatest struggles with substance use disorder, SUD, Amber took comfort in her two unshakeable rocks: her family and her faith. Her relationship with her parents, Tom, and Holly, grew stronger as they supported her and tried to understand how to best help her. She formed a tender relationship with her nephew—Adriana’s oldest son—and maintained her close bond with the three cousins she helped raise, Carson, Edie, and Daisy. She drew strength from her belief that no matter what happened, Jesus would be in control and save her.
Watching her sister struggle with SUD again and again, only to experience recurrences, changed Adriana’s understanding of addiction. This, as well as her own research, has made her more willing to have educational conversations with others and advocate for those currently experiencing SUD.
“Amber was a beautiful spirit,” Adriana said. “She loved everyone she came into contact with and made sure they felt important. She would help anyone, even if that meant giving up her own belongings to have nothing left. She is truly missed.”
Amber’s sister, Adriana Dali, provided the information for this narrative.
July 15, 1996-November 16, 2019-Age 23
Portrait Artist: Theresa Clower
Narrative Writer: Angela Day
