Beloved, Youthful, Fun, People Person
Spirited, humorous, and bright, Anne was a cherished soul. Whether she was practicing athletics like hiking, surfing, or gymnastics, or connecting with people through school or job experiences, she was naturally talented at finding joy in life. Gregarious and loved by all, she was her niece Sky and nephew Drew’s favorite aunt. Her sisters Valerie and Kathryn, as well as her childhood friend Amber, knew her as a bright light with a strong work ethic, one not afraid to show competitive spirit and limitless loyalty.
In her younger years, Anne spent Easter breaks swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, celebrating Christmas Eve traditions full of food and family, and focusing on education at the University of Wisconsin. As an exchange student to Australia, she bartended at a wine bar, and upon returning to the states, she found success as a car salesperson, further capitalizing on her outgoing nature. Despite being born with a cleft lip and palate, requiring multiple surgeries, she dreamt of having a family of her own and traveling as often as possible while maintaining close ties to her niece and nephew.
Substance use plagued Anne and cast long shadows on her and her relationships. Anne relied heavily on Jamie, her AA sponsor, for honesty and perspective when life grew tough. Her sister Valerie described the chaos and dysfunctionality surrounding Anne’s struggles. Swirling, conflicting feelings while helplessly watching their loved one endure substance use made her life cumbersome. Wanting to protect her child but also welcome her younger sister into her fold meant causing conflict with her parents, innumerable worries over her decisions, and exhaustion over upholding boundaries. The night before Anne passed, she spoke with Valerie, sharing her depression and agitation. Hundreds of miles from her sister, the hopelessness Valerie felt was overwhelming.
Upon Anne’s passing, Valerie enrolled in substance use counselor program to heal, move on, and better understand substance use disorder. She now has more empathy and understanding, can separate the person from their disorder, and knows Anne would be proud of the woman her niece Sky has become. With her sister’s ashes spread off the coast of Hawai’i, she knows Anne will be with her family no matter which continent they’re on. In the ocean’s embrace, her beach-loving soul is at peace.
Anne’s sister, Valerie Barko, provided the information for this narrative.
February 23, 1981-July 1, 2016-Age 35
Portrait Artist: Jeremy Hebbel
Narrative Writer: Jill Denton
