Always striving, sweet, privileged, incomplete
Brendan was sweet, compassionate, and caring. He loved animals, especially his dog Emma and cat, Hollywood. Emma and Brendan would walk to the water where Brendan would feed the ducks, practice his golf swing, and spend time in reflection. He was well-mannered and respectful of his elders. He had an interest in all genres of music and planned to work in the music industry. Brendan’s dad taught him how to play golf and they enjoyed sharing time on the golf course together. He and his dad competed in and won several father/son golf tournaments.
Brendan and his older sister Morgan were best friends and confidants; so close, in fact, that Morgan convinced Brendan to transfer colleges so they could be together. When Brendan was 21, Morgan, 23, died from natural causes. His mother, Mary Jane, said, “a huge piece of Brendan died that day as well.” He went to therapy to deal with his grief but eventually turned to drugs to numb the pain. Other changes were occurring too. His parents divorced, his father remarried, and Brendan now had twin brothers.
Every year, there were family beach trips to Hilton Head to see his dad and visits to Florida to his Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Charlie. Birthdays were celebrated with cakes and a special dinner. When Brendan’s cousin, Juliann, got married, he was there, loving being part of the festivities. Life was moving along, much like any family, and though Brendan had a unique ability to smile through everything, he experienced severe depression. Despite attending treatment programs several times, he continued to struggle.
Brendan could stay sober for months at a time, but during active addiction, his disease changed him. He would become more depressed, lie and steal. His mother said there were times she didn’t recognize the person he became. She wanted to trust and believe in him, but he became a “product of addiction.” Still, her love for him remained strong and consistent. His mom said: “I loved Brendan beyond words, and I’ve never stopped, despite everything.”
She misses his “gentle giant personality” and how he would come into her room every night to tell her good night and that he loved her. She has heard from his friends how he touched their lives in various ways. “Now that his friends are getting married, they always have a moment of silence for Brendan.”
Brendan’s mother, Mary Jane, provided the information for this narrative.
June 20, 1989-June 1, 2018
Age 28-Lived with the disease of addiction 10 years.