Vibrant, Misunderstood, Chaotic, Burdened, Numb
From the day Chase was born he chose not to take life seriously because “all life ends;” choosing instead to be present in the moment and enjoy the journey. He was a peacekeeper, always looking for ways to diffuse tense situations, wanting everyone to be friends. He was always a gentleman and the words ma’am and sir never left his vocabulary.
Growing up, he was an all-star soccer goalie, leading his team to the state championship games three seasons in a row. He liked the outdoors, riding bikes, hanging out with friends and helping anyone in need of anything. He also loved tattoos, that told a viewer who he was, where he had been and what he liked. He was quick-witted and comical and always knew the right thing to say in any situation.
His mom’s favorite memory was when Chase was about nine. He was shooting BB guns on his dad’s ranch with his stepbrother. They got the bright idea to shoot at the three elk standing in a field; the elk came charging, and the boys scrambled up a tree. The boys sat in that tree for two hours until their dad came home to move the elk.
Chase was most passionate about his two daughters, Addisyn and Jazzlyn. His mother said: “His girls made him smile the brightest and cry the hardest, he loved them so much.” They were his motivation to get sober and become someone they could be proud of. He also envisioned having a job, a wife, and a home.
He was close to his mom and two sisters, downplaying his circumstances for their benefit, saying he was fine. To protect them, he didn’t come around at times, but always provided his mom with location updates saying: “just in case something bad happens mom, you’ll know where I was and who I was with so you don’t have any unanswered questions.”
“Chase’s disease may have taken away his job, his home, his family and his girls, but it didn’t change who he was,” his mom said. He kept his loving heart, was a good person, helpful to others and tried to enjoy each day. But inside there was pain and demons that he was struggling with. He hid them, suffering alone, bearing his own cross so others didn’t have to.
His mom says that Chase’s addiction exhausted her and caused her to become distant from friends and loved ones. “Now I am just numb,” she said. ‘ What else could I have done? Why couldn’t I fix him?’ She also mourns the fact that he is missing out on seeing his daughters grow up and share common milestones like daddy/daughter dances, and walking them down the aisle.
His mother sets up a snack table on Saturdays at the homeless outreach center, placing a picture of Chase predominately on the table. People come by who knew him and talk about how he helped them. One woman told her she let Chase sleep on her couch during foul weather and woke up to a clean house and a prepared breakfast. His mom says: “I thought I was helping them, but they are helping me.” ‘Maybe his death was meant to teach me a different way of looking at people with addictions.’
May 14, 1989-June 30, 2020
Age 31-Lived with addiction 12-15 years
