Complex, intelligent, generous, kind
Dane was always very opinionated, never afraid to speak his mind, “That didn’t always go over well with some people, but I loved it about him,” his mother Regina stated. Dane was loving, generous and very funny. He loved to read and write poetry, snow and skate board, watch sports, do photography, and cook. He was over the moon when his Uncle Dane gave him a 50cc dirt bike. It was pure joy watching him ride it and bond with his uncle.
Athletically inclined, Dane won medals for mountain bike racing and was MVP of his basketball team, though he was the shortest kid on the team. He excelled at any sport he engaged in and was also very talented at anything mechanical.
After graduating from high school, Dane earned several certificates for film production. At 19, he secured a job working with the IATSE 481. He began building and dressing sets, and worked the crane that most others were daunted by. Though he made great money, he would call his mom in financial distress, and sometimes weep in her arms. He stopped showing up for family events and was prohibited from seeing his three nephews, Brad, Gabe and Bryce, who he loved dearly, because he was in active addiction. He became involved with the law, lost his license and his vehicle.
At ten years old, Dane learned he had a half-brother. His mom thought this might upset Dane, but instead, his brother, Brian, became a special person in Dane’s life. Brian tried to help Dane during his addiction. Dane envisioned a future with a partner, children, and a dog. He started on that goal with Katie, who he loved, but, again, his addiction caused issues in the relationship.
Dane had a special bond with his sister, Sarah. When she was doing a home renovation, Dane often surprised her with leftover pieces from his sets, which crew can purchase for a reduced cost. He provided windows, plywood, shelves, mirrors and more. One morning, she walked into her kitchen and screamed when she found a life-sized stuffed German Shepard that Dane had brought for her boys. Dane was also close to his Aunt Laura, helping her in her cleaning business while laughing and having a ball! After cleaning, they often went out to dinner to extend their time together. She always checked on him to be sure he was alright.
His father, Stephen, died two years before Dane. “It broke him, he was so different,” his mother said. She described the thirteen years of Dane’s addiction as a relentless series of treatment centers, halfway houses, sober living, mentors, and Narcotics Anonymous meetings. She did everything possible to help him. “I was grieving him before he passed away,” Regina said. She begged him to quit using drugs and told him she would be the one who found him if he overdosed or was poisoned. “I did indeed find him, and the trauma I have from that event is etched deep in my mind,” Regina shared.
Regina feels fortunate to have a supportive husband, Jim, who always had faith in Dane’s potential and has been understanding of her grief. “I grieve so hard for him, with his light gone, my light left me as well,” she said. She engages in conversations with people to help destigmatize addiction and has great empathy for families going through supporting loved ones with substance use disorder.
Dane’s mother, Regina Barker, provided the information for this narrative.
March 2, 1983-May 21, 2016-Age 33
Portrait Artist: Clayton Conner
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
