Empathetic, sensitive, brave, loving, hilarious
As a young child, Jake was sensitive and caring, an empath. Because of his natural ability to identify the feelings of others, he was often asked to be a “buddy” for new students in his elementary school class. Jake’s empathy continued during his time in recovery. He showed compassion for others who struggled with addiction and for families, friends, and coworkers; always ready to help, listen, or simply be present for others.
Jake had a love for playing golf and for dogs. He could often be found walking the family dog, and the dogs of his roommate and his sister, and brother-in-law. Time with family was important to Jake and included many beach vacations. There were trips to California to visit his grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and most recently, a wonderful and cherished family vacation to Ireland.
Jake had a strong, loving relationship with his older sister, Jenna, and formed a bond with her boyfriend, Mike. The two have since been married and have a daughter, Edie, who is often told stories about her Uncle Jake. Other treasured friends were Nick, Mike, Sean, and Steph and their boys, and Kevin, who was lost to an overdose shortly after Jake. He had an on/off relationship with Skylar, his soulmate. He often told his family she was “the one.”
Jake loved being a part of his large, extended family’s birthday celebrations, holiday get-togethers, and Christmas traditions. He surprised his dad by showing up in New York City for his 60th birthday, a memorable moment that was caught on film.
Jake took pride in his work in both the cleanup/restoration industry and in construction project management. His easy demeanor and infectious smile helped him form personal connections with customers. Jake had a goal of owning his own construction company, of getting married, buying a home, and having children. His parents formed a construction company with a plan of eventually turning it over to Jake to make his own. The first step in his goal was already beginning when Jake passed away.
“I think being highly sensitive and caring is both why Jake was so special and why he became addicted to drugs,” his mother stated. He was an amazing person when he was solidly in recovery, one the family loved to be with. When in active addiction, he was a completely different person.
The complex range of emotions the family experienced during Jake’s illness included fear, anger, love, resentment, sympathy, anxiety, and frustration. Living day to day not knowing if they would get “that call”, was brutal. One of the worst moments was having to resuscitate Jake with Narcan.
During the 12 years of Jake’s active addiction, there were 12 overdoses, repeated relapses, over 60 detox admissions, and countless sober houses. The physical, emotional and financial toll was immense. His family values the three continuous years Jake was sober, right up until his passing. They got to appreciate what an amazing grown man Jake had become. They took many photos and videos during this time, as the ever-present fear of relapse hung over them, even in good times.
The void in their lives is deep without Jake. “We are forever broken hearted,” Marcy and Bob shared. ‘We try to keep his memory alive and celebrate him.’
Marcy’s work with those with substance use disorder is different than before she experienced addiction in her family. She said she “has respect for these human beings who are fighting for their life on a daily basis. They are the strongest people I have met.”
Jacob’s parents, Marcy, and Bob McMahon, provided the information for this narrative.
January 31, 1992-August 3, 2021-Age 29
Portrait Artist: Elizabeth Jones
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
