Faithful, loving, generous, caring, fun
Jason encountered death earlier and more frequently throughout his life than most. His father died of suicide when he was three years old; a close cousin passed away when he was nine; he lost many classmates throughout his school years. When his grandparents died in 2003 and 2013, he struggled to cope—and his mother Louvina feared that he never did.
Jason’s grief affected his life in various ways. He found comfort in riding his bike all over Des Moines, listening to music. He ended his rides at Laurel Hill Cemetery, where he meditated on his “special hill” overlooking the city. Afterward, he cleaned up any neglected graves. As an artist and a skilled craftsman, working dozens of odd jobs throughout his life, he became fascinated with memorial stonework. His phone was filled with photos of gravestones covered in meaningful words, ornate angels and crosses, and decorated veteran displays. He hoped to train as a memorial mason, ensuring that those who had passed were never forgotten.
Losing loved ones also taught Jason to appreciate every moment and to improve the lives of those around him whenever he could. “He had a huge heart and went out of his way to help others, often when he could have used the help himself,” Louvina said. “He never knew a stranger and always opened his home to those struggling.” Jason was close with his brother, John, and stepbrothers, Mike and Doug, and doted on his “leetle seester” Amanda. Jason enjoyed the holidays when the whole family got together—aunts, uncles, cousins, and even friends. Before his grandparents passed, he looked forward to their July 4th celebrations with food and fireworks, but his favorite holiday was Christmas with his grandma’s fudge and grandpa’s peanut brittle.
When Jason had his own son, Mason, he swaddled him in the same love he’d received throughout childhood. “Jason idolized Mason and took every opportunity to brag about him,” Louvina shared. Jason enthusiastically attended his son’s athletic events. They skateboarded together. Later, he advised Mason and his fiancée, Kaycee, on restoring their traveling home using his own craft experience. He had hoped to visit them in Utah.
Jason also struggled with mental health issues from those traumatic losses. He lived with addiction for 34 years, beginning in his early teenage years with alcohol and later turned to drugs like methamphetamines. It interfered with his professional life and personal relationships. Jason sought to regain control of his life through numerous rehabilitation treatments, but these treatments seemed to target the symptoms rather than the cause. “We felt these treated his addictions but never his mental health,” Louvina said. “We always hoped a program would help with getting back into the workforce and dealing with daily struggles without falling back to drugs. He could walk away from his addictions for periods of time, but struggled as his downward spiral led him back to challenging situations and problems with coping.”
Jason overdosed on Mother’s Day. “What an awful day,” Louvina said. “But as a mother, I find comfort in knowing I saw my loving son and had lots of hugs and great conversation on that day. I will forever want one more hug.” She found a picture on Jason’s phone taken that morning of a gravestone with the words:
His Mama’s Prayer for Him:
Be free, raintree moonchild
May your demons be gone and
Your sweet soul be at peace
The time for running is done
Sweet dreams, my dear son.
Jason’s mother, Louvina Holtz, provided the information for this narrative.
August 19, 1976-May 12, 2024-Age 47
Portrait Artist: Cecil Norris
Narrative Writer: Angela Day
