Love, sadness, drugs, loss, incomplete
John was a complex person. He was loving and protective, kind, and present for his wife, Charlotte, son, Michael and for other family members and friends. He loved sports and was easygoing and fun. He was a hard working husband and father; he could be relied upon. “We were a team, we shared helping others, taking care of people,” his wife said.
Another side of John, after years of drug use, was a person who put drugs before people and who lied and manipulated to get what he wanted. “He progressed so far into the drugs, his mental state changed,” his wife said. ‘He was no longer the intelligent, common sense person I knew.” Nothing about life was normal after a time; the addiction was not just his, it was his wife and son’s as well; it shattered the entire family. His wife was left to handle everything and felt the need to keep secrets in fear of the stigma it might bring.
“But John taught me love,” his wife said. “I will always treasure the way he still looked at me at my 50th birthday party.” She loves him deeply and is grateful o him for giving her a son, Michael. “He is my stepson, but he is truly my son.” Charlotte said.
Now that John has passed, the normalcy is back in life, but he is missing. “He no longer deals with pain, I deal with it daily,” Charlotte said. ‘I am seeking help to get me through it.’ She sees life as much more fragile now and knows it can be gone in a second. She learned firsthand about the world of addiction and how debilitating it can be for everyone involved. “This is not something that anyone should ever have to experience,” she said. She has more empathy now for people affected by substance use. “I want to help them,” she said. ‘Now I talk, I share, I give because I don’t want people to feel this level of pain.’
John’s wife Charlotte Parry, provided the information for this narrative.
June 25, 1957 – December 8, 2016
Age 59-Lived with addiction 20 years