Compassion, loyalty, struggle, love, strength
John warmed every room with his charm and kindness and had a natural gift for connection. It didn’t matter the context, a party or the gas station, John was sure to walk away with a friend. That was just how quickly and naturally he made others feel seen. Then, once he cared for someone, his loyalty ran deep.
Not even John’s opponents could resist his friendship. Mixed martial arts was John’s greatest passion, and during his first match in Maryland, he and his adversary, Leonard Poe, were incredibly nervous. Although John lost, his fighting won Poe’s respect, and their bond lasted far beyond the match.
John’s physical prowess earned him the title of number one hugger outside the ring, at least according to his sister, Jaime. He’d wrap her in a squeeze that was the perfect amount of pressure, the sort of hug that melted even her biggest worries away.
He also had a keen mind. He saw what others missed, readily acquired new skills, and was determined in his goals. When he set his sights on George Washington University, it was only a matter of time before he was admitted. This knack, combined with innate curiosity, lent well to his habit of tinkering and working with his hands in his spare time. He did everything from carpentry to customizing his Harley-Davidson, especially if it meant time with his dad.
Family was crucial to John. Formal get-togethers and casual hangs all held equal importance, but growing up, summers were his favorite. He, Jaime, and their parents visited their grandmother’s home in Calabash, North Carolina, every year. Those sunny beach days were filled with laughter as they plunged into the waves and buried each other in the sand. The trip was not complete until they stopped at their favorite spot, Callahan’s gift shop.
John’s greatest joy was his son, Hayden, and John wanted to make up for the milestones he’d missed during active addiction. Addiction changed him into someone deceitful, self-centered, and angry, but recovery transformed him. He made amends and restored trust with people he thought he’d lost forever. Step by step, he began to shine again and became stronger. He spent five years rebuilding his life, reconnecting with Hayden, and sharing his experiences with his family. John helped them understand his struggles by confessing the darkest truths of the disease. He revealed that if given the choice between what he loved most—his son and his sister—and substances, he would always choose substances. It pained him to admit; he wished it false, but it was the reality, and John refused to be dishonest with his loved ones.
People assumed a lot about John, and classmates said he would amount to nothing, but he became so much in the face of adversity. He proved to himself capable of deep love and transformation in the darkest moments. John’s unwavering commitment to honesty brought his struggles and the struggles of many with substance use disorder into light.
John’s sister, Jaime Thorpe, provided the information for this narrative.
April 1, 1986-May 10, 2017–Age 31
Portrait Artist: Shawn Faust
Narrative Writer: Willow Kline
