Jonathan lived out loud!
From the beginning, Jonathan Tolbert had no fear. With bright eyes and a big smile, he was always ready for the next adventure. He had an accident-prone childhood that led to so many trips to the hospital that his family thought his name should be over the doors. Jonathan would climb to the top of big trees and need a rescue from the fire department. He survived being kidnapped and was torn from his mother’s arms during a tornado.
On family trips to the beach. Jonathan loved riding down the strip, racing go-carts, and playing in the waves. Growing up, he had fun with his brother, Jakob, who is 18 months older, and his friend, John. Jonathan had a big imagination and a great sense of humor. Other kids loved playing with him because he always had an idea of what to do next.
As he got older, Jonathan loved being outdoors, fishing, driving, being with his friends and girlfriend, Summer, and listening to music. He used songs to express feelings he had trouble sharing.
His friends, male and female, always said they felt safe when Jonathan was around because they knew he had their back. Jonathan believed in being loyal and expected loyalty in return, and sometimes had his heart broken when it wasn’t reciprocal.
Hidden behind his self-assured behavior, Jonathan had anxiety and ADHD. Traumatic events he witnessed as a young adult caused both conditions to escalate and Jonathan developed severe anxiety, and PTSD as well. It became hard for him to quiet the demons in his mind, even with medication.
Jonathan wanted to get to a place where he could live on his own and travel. Being outdoors was always a release for him. Unfortunately, on his last fishing trip, he went to the wrong side of a dam and fell from the top down the steep side to the bottom. Bleeding from a severely injured arm, he managed to climb back up and was spotted by drivers, who called 911. He was life-flighted out and put on life support in the hospital.
Jonathan survived the accident, but doctors said it would take years for his arm to fully heal. He was prescribed pain medications, but they ran out before he could finally get an appointment with a pain management doctor. Jonathan took a pain med from an acquaintance that was laced with fentanyl. He died the Thursday before Mother’s Day.
His mother, Deborah, misses his smile, his husky voice, his laugh, and how he would talk with her about anything, free of self-consciousness. “If there were easier access in Alabama to mental health care instead of waiting months, things may be different,” Deborah said. “Most people don’t drink or do drugs just because. There is usually a reason. This issue needs to be taken more seriously.”
Deborah now advocates for solutions to address the fentanyl poisoning epidemic. She has tangible reminders of her son and the way he lived and loved, like the gardenia bush Jonathan transplanted from her father’s house to her yard the week before he died. Once when Deborah had gone to the store, she came home to discover Jonathan had spray painted ‘I love you, Mom’ on the garage floor. At the time, she protested that he could have just said it. “Now, it’s still there. I wouldn’t take anything for that.”
Jonathan’s mother, Deborah Tolbert, provided the information for this narrative.
December 19, 1995-May 11, 2023-Age 27
Portrait Artist: Shawn Faust
Narrative Writer: Lynne Mixson
