Gifted, hilarious, sensitive, loyal
Kristy was a brilliant force. Growing up, she loved to be around her friends. You could identify her in a crowd by her huge, infectious laugh. She could turn any event into a magical party. From the time she was old enough to hold a pencil, she drew. She was a master artist. She once drew Disney characters in elementary school and her teacher questioned whether she had traced them. Her dad and mom clarified that the drawings were authentic, and indeed Kristy was the artist! She was musically talented and played piano, guitar, and clarinet by ear. Her poetry and writing were worthy of publication at a young age. She also had anxiety as a child and throughout her adult life.
Academically, Kristy was a high achiever. During adolescence, anxiety and depression became more and more a part of her life. She pushed through as best she could, but in college she sometimes became immobilized. She benefited from medical help–and she self-medicated. Over the years, she developed a love/hate relationship with drugs and alcohol.
Kristy loved Christmas! She carefully chose lots of presents for everyone in her family and loved watching her parents and younger sisters unwrap their gifts.
She had many sober years. During sobriety, she remained devoted to her AA meetings, her friendships, her artwork, and her writing. She worked intermittently in graphic design. Over time, her anxiety, depression, and addiction intensified. She fought heroically to maintain sobriety and keep her demons at bay, but in the final few years of her life, her illness/addiction was winning the fight. Despite it all, she courageously continued to fight, and her family and friends painfully fought right along with her. Her disease was more powerful than any army of friends and family, and it eventually declared victory over Kristy’s life.
After Kristy’s death, people spoke of the many ways she had helped in their recovery: driving them to meetings, connecting them to community resources, sponsoring them, and supporting them in the middle of the night if needed. In her Saturday morning AA meeting, they described her as a “bright light.”
Kristy taught me that people with addiction are so much more than their disease. The disease is ugly and relentless–but every individual with this disease has a unique greatness, which, sadly, becomes unrecognizable because of it.
Kristy left behind an unfinished memoir titled “Surviving Myself.”
Kristina’s mother, Marilynn Raben, provided the information for this narrative.
March 25, 1980–May 15, 2023-Age 43
Portrait Artist: Theresa Clower
Narrative Writer: Victoria Estes
