She was herself everywhere she went
Community and song followed on the heels of Mary Grace Baker. Wherever she had been, stories sprouted, singing praise of her spirit and faith. A man in Utah called Mary’s mother, Susan, just to tell her that after he had met her daughter, he rededicated his life to God. Mary changed his life. All around the country, the sheer force of Mary touched lives, even in the darkest of places–when Mary was in juvenile court, she rallied the other girls to join into a chorus, singing “Take the Shackles Off My Feet So I Can Dance.” Mary’s substance use disorder meant that she often found herself in the court system, hospitals, and treatment programs–some of the hardest places; places, by their nature, that punctuate the lowest moments of a person’s life. Yet Mary had a unique way to forge through these corridors of pain, and find joy and connection, uplifting those around her into a community of love and hope.
Mary was the youngest of the family and the only daughter. She was determined to keep up with her older brothers, always eager to camp and fish. She loved to paint, draw, and write, and had a fountain of knowledge about ancient Egypt. Around 9 o’clock at night, starting in childhood, Mary would get bursts of energy. This often transformed into night dance shows and skits for her family. She loved to play Judge Judy, making a judge’s bench from a play mat, and casting each family member into witnesses and defendants as she presided over the case.
Mary had a special connection with her grandmother, Susan’s mother. They were kindred spirits. When her grandma was on her deathbed, unable to speak for two weeks, and Mary called, her grandma gasped, “I-love-you.” Her best friend Rachel was like a sister. They were friends from sixth grade until the end. Rachel recounts the 14 months that Mary was sober as the happiest of her life.
Connecting with others over religion and sobriety were passions of Mary’s. She worked with teenagers at high school when she was 17, at Palmer Drug Abuse Program, as well as joining her Oxford House Committee. She was raised Lutheran and grew up going to church. The deacon called her “High Beams” because of her bright, alert gaze. Her favorite job was at the front desk of a nursing home–she loved interacting with the residents.
Susan remembers two days before Mary’s death she had an old court case. Since the incident, Mary had been 14 months sober, working, and had turned herself in, but her court-appointed attorney told her none of that mattered to the case. It was a crushing moment. Yet as Susan and Mary walked out of the courthouse, they met two women waiting for their court dates. In typical Mary fashion, despite this intense setback just moments before, she chatted with these strangers. Soon, they were all laughing and hugging, finding solidarity and community in the bleakness of their respective circumstances.
Mary’s mother, Susan Baker, provided the information for this narrative
March, 31-1995-August 31, 2024-Age 29
Portrait Artist: Clayton Conner
Narrative Writer: Livia Cohen
