Sweet, loving, kind, courageous, and sadness
“I speak of Matthew often and openly,” his mother, Lisa, said. ‘We won’t end this stigma if we don’t talk about it.’ Matthew’s disease took over his personality way before his passing. “His beautiful eyes and smile became a blank stare with so much sadness,” Lisa stated. But the Matthew that the family knew before that was quite different. He was kind, loving, caring, and happy. He had an impish grin that melted your heart and his love for his family was amazing.
Matthew loved playing hockey and fishing and anything that took him outdoors. He was extremely proud of the work he did in roofing and side walling and often posted photos of his work for others to view. “My greatest memories of Matthew are from when he was playing hockey from the age of four. We had the most profound talks on our long drives to games and practices,” Lisa recollected. Unfortunately, in the years he was consumed with substance use, he lost his passion for hockey and fishing.
Matthew had two brothers, DJ, and Shane. DJ became handicapped in 2020 and Matthew was very kind and compassionate with him. The bond with his brothers centered on watching hockey, the Bruins, and football. They each had their own favorite teams. Matthew loved the 49ers. Other strong bonds were with his aunts and uncle and some of his cousins.
Matthew’s biggest joy was his girlfriend, Sadie. After his family, she was number one in his life. They were always together, visiting beaches and taking selfies. “Sadie has the kindest heart and loved Matthew wholeheartedly,” Lisa said.
During Matthew’s active addiction, there was constant fear and worry. Lisa felt Matthew’s brothers resented the time she devoted to keeping Matthew alive and safe. Financially, treating Matthew’s substance use disorder was crippling. The costs spiraled, and life was filled with chaos. Lisa slept with her phone under her pillow for years, worrying that she would get “that call.” Ultimately, she was the one making the call as Matthew passed away in her home. “That is a picture I will never unsee,” she said. She reflects on his excitement about everyday things, and misses his laugh, kindness, love, and his phone calls that started out, “Hey Mah.”
Matthew was unhoused often during his time with substance use disorder. As a way to support others, Lisa volunteers feeding, clothing and providing toiletries and warm essentials to the unhoused in her community. She finds it both humbling and fulfilling.
Matthew’s mother, Lisa Donoghue, provided the information for this narrative.
February 15, 1989-July 25, 2023-Age 34
Portrait Artist: Jeremy Hebbel
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
