Nathan was a gift from God. We are sorry we had to give him back.
Described as “an old soul” by his mother, Kerry, Nathan was introverted, gentle, smart, and very quiet. “He loved his job working with horses,” Kerry said, “because they were gentle and didn’t talk, just like Nathan.” A talented pitcher, he won a special “Babe Ruth” award and also played hockey and baseball. In junior high school, Nathan was awarded a Presidential Academic Excellence award and inducted into the Junior National Honor Society for his straight “A” record. Nathan’s grandfather looked on proudly as he was awarded the coveted Math Pin from a team of 80 students.
Nathan loved a good home-cooked meal and the cookies he often requested from his mother and niece. His love for his niece, nephew, and other family members, including his two brothers, Jared, and Caleb, remained constant even through his drug use. His niece Kaileigh and nephew JJ also lived in the family home because their mother had died. Music was Nathan’s escape as he tried hard to remain free of drugs.
Nathan qualified for the dual college enrollment program in his senior year of high school. Taking courses in psychology, along with his high school classes. Nathan wanted to be a social worker like his father, Richard, and help those with depression and substance use disorder (SUD). He also worked at a furniture store, creating displays and painting walls during this time. Later, he worked for a gym and a car rental business.
Nathan was in a significant relationship with his girlfriend until her death by suicide “threw him into the worst tailspin,” Kerry said. “He felt guilty because he was trying to remain drug free, and she was not.” During one recovery period (2015) after treatment, Nathan cared for horses and seemed content but eventually relapsed. “Each time he relapsed, he got up and tried again,” his mother stated. That was until 2017, when he said he would never go into another program. Instead, he went to a clinic where the staff loved him. They provided medically assisted treatment, but he couldn’t shake his drug use.
“We would never have predicted this path for him,” Kerry said. “He humanized the disease of addiction for many. People tell us that if Nathan could die from SUD, then anyone could.”
When he was young, Nathan used to say, “I never want to grow up.” Kerry wonders if he knew he would not live a long life. His presence, gentle spirit, kindness, beautiful eyes, and smile are profoundly missed.
Watching the hold that addiction had on Nathan was heartbreaking. The shock of his departure and the agony of looking at his photo, is wrenching for his loved ones. Kerry, a retired youth development educator, now provides peer grief support and serves as the founding editor of a newsletter for a group working with families affected by addiction, Support After a Death By Overdose. Her life’s mission is to help others impacted by this epidemic.
Nathan’s mother, Kerry Bickford, provided the information for this narrative.
July 25, 1987-August 15, 2018-Age 31
Portrait Artist: Theresa Clower
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
