Charming, empathetic, kind, loving, and hurting
A charmer, Ryan loved to make people laugh. Always well dressed with obsessively clean sneakers, family was everything to Ryan. He was the champion of his siblings, his twin brother, Timothy and two younger sisters, Cassandra, and Caitlyn. Raised by a single mom, he was 100% a mama’s boy. An avid fisherman, he loved the annual family camping trips to New Hampshire. He enjoyed the outdoors, playing with his son and nephews. At the time he passed, he was a plumber, often offering his services free to anyone in need. As with any job he did, he generously shared his knowledge with others.
Ryan’s world revolved around his girlfriend Mikaela and their son, Tristan, who was two when his father died. “Tristan was the driving force in Ryan’s most recent year of sobriety,” his mother, Victoria, stated. “The love he had for Tristan was amazing to witness.” He was always on the floor playing with Tristan. He wanted to own a landscaping business and purchase a house for his family.
Though he struggled with sobriety, Ryan could be successful for long stretches. “Ryan was disappointed in himself that he wasn’t strong enough to stay sober,” Victoria said. “He often said his head got in his way.” Through it all, he consistently reached out to help “the underdog” or those with special needs. Something he was drawn to from a young age when he volunteered with the Special Olympics.
Christmas Eve was a full family get together with dinner and gifts. And every July since Ryan was a baby, the family camped at the same place, a tradition he shared with his girlfriend and son.
Active addiction changed Ryan negatively. The stealing and lies were worrying. His mother felt guilty about enabling him, and of neglecting his siblings because his addiction and overdoses took so much of her time. The family constantly questioned what was supportive and what was enabling for Ryan. “It was gut wrenching,” Victoria said. It caused pain and internal wars inside the family.
One of Victoria’s prized possessions is a video of Ryan the New Year’s Eve before he died. He walked around the house, approached each family member and rapped a spontaneous song about his relationship with them. Ryan also had a special relationship with the babies in the family. He would make these sweet sounds that made them giggle and smile. As the babies grew, they made the sounds back to him. He had a special bond with them all.
Victoria’s views on substance use disorder changed after her experiences with Ryan. She is more willing to reach out to others in active addiction or those who have lost a loved one to addiction, overdose, or poisoning. She misses watching Ryan interact with his twin brother as only twins can, and misses watching him be a wonderful dad to Tristan. There is no more one-on-one conversation about life, hearing his laughter or hearing him say mama. She now volunteers for a homeless shelter during the winter months and offers advice and a listening ear to anyone who is suffering.
Ryan’s mother, Victoria Almeida, provided the information for this narrative. August 13, 1993-September 13, 2017-Age 24
Portrait Artist: Elizabeth Jones
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
