Loyal, funny, fun, great sibling, protective, creative, teacher
“She had a way of making people love her,” Shelby’s mother, Linda, stated. She welcomed anyone and everyone to be her friend, and kept them. Shelby especially loved kids and older people. She was always in touch with her maternal grandmother, “Honey” even through her addiction. The name Honey came about because Shelby’s grandfather called his wife Honey and Shelby picked it up.
Shelby’s parents were divorced when she was three. She and her mother were best friends and Shelby was a great older sister to her twin brothers, Travis, and Tyler. A tight-knit family, the three kids and mom had a movie night every Friday night, complete with pj’s, tents and snacks.
Shelby went to Oklahoma State, where she majored in education. It seemed a good fit since she was a natural and patient teacher, often teaching her mother new technology and instructing her brothers. Shelby had a way of persuading people. For instance, she convinced her college friends to watch the Price is Right with her, even if it meant they were skipping a class. But college life was not for her. After one year at Oklahoma State, she returned to Tulsa and went to work, first at a theatre and later in the restaurant business as a server.
During 2017, a friend asked her to do heroin with her, which eventually led to methamphetamines. Her relationship with her family changed, and her addiction journey began. Her usual gregarious, outgoing personality became introverted, and she distanced herself from those she loved. She could be drug free at times, but not maintain sobriety. It was hard for everyone who loved her. Friends and family remained supportive until the day she died.
“I was never the tough love kind of mom,” Linda stated. It was routine for Shelby to come by looking for a hot shower, food, and the love of her family. It gave Linda comfort to know Shelby was okay for the time being.
Having her son, Jaden, changed Shelby. Dedicated to her sobriety, Shelby’s priority was to make a good life for her son, who she affectionally called Jbear. She went to treatment and moved to a sober living house in Oklahoma City, eventually moving in with her partner and working at IHOP. Shelby enjoyed having a quiet life, being a mom, and raising her son. She was determined to stay drug free and looked forward to getting her one-year chip in two months.
No one knows what prompted Shelby to relapse and start using fentanyl. The day Shelby died, she and her mother were discussing plans for Jaden’s first birthday party; she was excited. Just three hours later, she succumbed to fentanyl poising; ending her life.
Linda wants Jaden to know everything he can about his mom, especially her love for Christmas. Linda and Shelby made plans to give Jaden a Christmas ornament every year, in hopes that one day he will hang them on his own tree. She started a scrapbook project to preserve memories and quotes from Shelby, ensuring that Jaden can understand his mom’s personality. One quote Shelby often used was, “I love you like crazy, not because you are crazy.”
Linda now views it as her mission to be there for Jaden, letting him know what a great mama he had and inspiring others to get help for their addiction.
Shelby’s mother, Linda Hendon, provided the information for this narrative
September 19, 1995-July 25, 2023-Age 27
Portrait Artist: Jeremy Hebbel
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
