Not long enough for us
Alan was kind, driven, and funny-a man you could always come to when you needed help or comfort. Though introverted by nature, once you truly knew him, you could see the beauty of his character. When he was 20, Alan’s daughter Isabella was born, and they immediately created a deep bond. He loved playing outside with Isabella on the backyard swing set, or on her big wheel, or doing outdoor chores like raking leaves or shoveling snow. Isabella, now 20, also has fond memories of time spent with her father at St. Pete’s Beach in Florida. She stated, “My dad was always there; he always had a way to help me or make things better.”
Alan was an ironworker and proud of the four-year union apprenticeship he completed. Not afraid of heights, he would climb up anything if needed. He followed a typical path in his early adulthood: he bought a house, had a child, and secured a good job. His work ethic reflected who he was: dependable, capable, and committed. Outside of work, he loved baseball, cars, action movies, and sports.
In the years before his death, Alan struggled deeply. Isabella watched him change into someone she didn’t recognize. He became isolated, bitter, and depressed. A sense of helplessness and anger overwhelmed him. Watching him change was heartbreaking for those who loved him. Alan shared a close bond with his brother, Matt, and had an especially deep and loving relationship with his mother, who, according to Isabella, “loved him more than anything.” She became a different person after Alan’s death but eventually found peace.
Alan’s death became a turning point for family members—his brother found sobriety and built a successful company, and Isabella, once a child struggling with behavioral challenges, transformed her grief into purpose. She became a straight-A student, is now in college studying to be a teacher, and was a counselor at a children’s grief camp. Though her father’s death has made her anxious and introverted, she makes efforts to advocate for those with substance use disorders by changing her language and posting on social media.
Alan didn’t have many goals for his future at the time of his death. “He was in such a pit at the end; I know he wanted to see me grow up and get back into ironworking,” Isabella stated. “I miss his laugh, his smell, and especially his voice.”
Alan’s daughter, Isabella Kirt, provided the information for this narrative.
January 4, 1986–October 13, 2016-Age 30
Portrait Artist: Clayton Conner
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
