Compassionate, genuine, loving, kind, funny
Xavier and his mother, Rhiana, talked about everything, but mostly they made laughter filled memories, especially during high school drop-offs. Xavier hated riding the bus, so Rhiana drove him. It became a tradition that when they pulled up to school, Xavier would put his hand on the door and stare at his mother disapprovingly, knowing what was to follow. She’d wait patiently for the door to open, and when it finally did, she exclaimed for all to hear, “Have a great day full of sunshine, rainbows, glitter, and unicorns!” It embarrassed him, but left him smiling, and she said it to him until his last day.
Mike, Xavier’s stepdad, helped raise him, and they butted heads as Xavier got older, but the love was always there. After his treatment, they honored an unspoken truce, bonding during drives to work.
Xavier’s grandfather, Papa Steve, was his “main dude”. They ran the gamut together: sledding, swimming, fishing, rollerblading, biking, apple picking, pumpkin carving, Christmas tree hunting, and most importantly, skateboarding. Papa Steve got him into it after all, and he and Grandma Jane took Xavier to buy his first skateboard. Grandma Jane always took care of Xavier when his parents were working, gave him rides wherever he needed, and attended every event and game as his unofficial cheerleader. When his Papa passed from cancer, Xavier changed, but he continued practicing in the driveway. After he lost control and his skateboard rolled into the road where a septic truck barely missed it, Rhiana became dedicated to taking him to skate parks. They stayed all day so he could practice tricks and meet skaters. All the while, his mom recorded so he could find areas for improvement. There was nothing like the pleased look on his face when he finally mastered a new skill.
Skates weren’t the only set of wheels Xavier loved. He was crazy about cars and originally wanted a career involving automobiles. He loved everything about them–the shows, the feeling of driving, working on them with his friend. When he got his first loan to buy a car, he was so proud and loved putting time into fixing it. Later, he talked about wanting to give back by working in the recovery community, and he talked about buying a home and having a child.
Though he didn’t get to grow into those dreams, he formed a significant relationship when he met Nadya at a New Jersey recovery meeting. She was also in recovery and worked in the field. Afterwards, they spent hours video and phone chatting, and Nadya even traveled to Wisconsin to see him. They were good together, and when things got difficult, they always tried to work things out.
Xavier was passionate about music, specifically one of his favorite artists, Juice WRLD. He used music to communicate what he could not. Xavier was also a doodler. If a pen and paper were around, he’d be drawing, but his biggest talent was connecting with others. He was the go-to bestie for many, and for good reason: His unique sense of humor could get anyone laughing; he went to bat for his loved ones; and he was there for people simply because he wanted to be. He could sit with someone on the phone or in person for hours, whatever it took to make them feel loved and valued.
Xavier’s mother, Rhiana Stowell, provided the information for this narrative.
March 6, 2002-April 19, 2025–Age 23
Portrait Artist: Jeremy Hebbel
Narrative Writer: Willow Kline
