Love, community, family, food, and fun
‘Big Cal,” as he was known after his son and namesake, Calvin (CJ), was born, was a loving man of few words. A private person, Cal loved to be around family and friends in small gatherings and enjoyed serving his church and the community in which he lived.
Calvin was a former DJ and a member of the marching band at Delaware State College, now DSU, before joining the Navy, where he cooked and was part of the seal team. He was also a deacon and trustee at his church and active in the men’s groups. He loved cooking so much that he did it at church, worked in restaurants, and spent years cooking at Disney World, sacrificing time with his family for long shifts. Still, CJ remembers his dad showing up for every major event life event, and lending his support.
More than anything, Calvin reveled in time spent with family. The youngest of seven children, he and his siblings were all very connected and loved family get togethers and parties. There are only two siblings left alive now, CJ’s Uncle Roy and Aunt Jean.
Cal was married to Denise for over 20 years. They had two children together, Eve, now 39, and CJ, 31. Cal also had a son, Dizzy, 35, from a previous relationship, who was raised primarily by his mother and step-father. Both Cal and Denise had substance use issues that spanned two decades until Denise passed in 2015. During her last years, Cal became the caregiver for his wife as she became bedridden because of diabetes.
Cal became “reserved and in his own world after the death of my mom,” CJ stated. “But he wanted to be around his children and Dizzy’s son.” One of the proudest and happiest times for Cal was being at Dizzy’s engagement party, and with Dizzy’s family at their home, especially with Pharoah, his only grandchild. “That was also special for me,” CJ said, “because there are a lot of pictures I otherwise wouldn’t have.” Unfortunately, Cal passed away during the time of Dizzy’s wedding preparations and his daughter, Eve’s, birthday.
“My career journey is because of my parents fight with substance use disorder and mental health,” CJ reported. He remembers being the kid who was working odd jobs after school to help the family since a lot of the money went to drugs. CJ is now a youth advocate for a non-profit and an ordained minister, sometimes acting as pastor. His work role is to help elementary age children with their educational goals and prepare them for middle school, while acting as a bridge between families and the school. Students are mentored and directed to programs like Junior Achievement. Using a holistic approach, the non-profit provides families with needed resources and support so the children can focus on their education.
CJ says he misses his dad’s smile and remembers Calvin dancing and laughing at his older sister’s birthday party. He loved seeing him at Dizzy’s engagement party and his interactions with Pharoah. “My best friend’s birthday is four days after my dad’s, and my sister’s birthday is near the day my dad died. I lost my mom around my birthday. It is difficult trying to celebrate birthdays while grieving the people we love, but we go on.”
Calvin’s son, Calvin “CJ” Bland, provided the information for this narrative.
July 4, 1963-October 3, 2023-Age 60
Portrait Artist: CJ Norris
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
