Family, fun, food, faith, friendly
The youngest of five sisters, Denise grew up in Kennet Square, PA, known as the Mushroom Capital of the World where mushroom farming in the region produces over a million pounds of mushrooms a day! “You’d know it from the smell,” her son, CJ, said. Denise worked on mushroom farms learning the value of hard work, which she passed on to her kids. CJ said, “Two things I got from my parents were to always treat everyone with respect and a strong work ethic.”
Denise did a lot of work in the church and the community and opened their home to anyone who needed a place to stay. “And that was LOTS of people,” CJ shared. She didn’t judge, but she freely shared her opinions, spoke her mind, did what she wanted and was stern, but also fair and loving. “She could give people a little push to give them direction,” CJ stated, “and do it with a smile while rocking a Jheri Curl in her dyed, reddish burgundy hair, which was always impeccably done.”
Denise showed up for everything in CJ’s life. She was proud to see CJ go off to college and get his ministry together. She relished his community work with youth and his future career plans. Denise was always willing to listen and work through things and figure them out. “She was a rock, the voice of calm when I needed it,” CJ said.
Denise worked in day care and was a babysitter for all the cousins. The family got together often just because they enjoyed it. No particular reason was needed. A favorite card game at their gatherings was Pitty Pat, a matching game that could get competitive, especially when money was involved. Family was a priority above all else, and there are stories to prove it. On one occasion, her niece was having her birthday party on the same day Denise was being released from the hospital. Not one to miss out on a family event, Denise showed up in a medical transport van straight from the hospital, instructing the EMT’s to roll her right into the living room. “I am not missing my niece’s birthday,” she stated.
Other aspects of Denise were her severe diabetes and a substance use disorder (SUD) that spanned two decades. Over time, she lost her ability to walk and was bedridden. She was cared for by her husband, Calvin, her soulmate, and her family until she was hospitalized for the last time.
Her son, CJ, was taking classes in D.C. when he got the call from his sister, Eve, that their mom was unresponsive. They found cocaine in her system. CJ was tasked with the decision to take her off life support after learning she would not have brain function. That was the first time he saw someone take their last breath. “Having to take my mother off of life support had to be the hardest decision of my life,” CJ said. “It haunts me after almost ten years.”
CJ’s career path was formed from seeing his parents struggle with SUD for most of his life.
He currently works for a non-profit organization that supports students by helping them with family problems, provides academic assistance, and prepares them for middle school.
Denise’s son, Calvin, CJ Bland, provided the information for this narrative.
December 29, 1961-February 13, 2015-Age 54
Portrait Artist: CJ Norris
Narrative Writer: Barbara Francois
