A beautiful presence, artistic, adventurous, kind
Gary’s parents, Traci, and John, remember his “shy smile” and blue eyes, as well as his inherent talent of making newcomers feel welcome and included in any situation. They recall Gary’s innate kindness–with many of his former classmates remembering how he was the first to welcome them when they were the “new kid.” This carried on into Gary’s adulthood, as he was also one of the first to welcome newcomers to treatment.
Throughout his life, one of Gary’s greatest passions was his love of music. From receiving his first guitar at 14 from his father, John, to playing with his band Empathy Orange, and performing solo at Recovery Fest in Sumter, SC, music remained central to Gary’s life. His recordings with Empathy Orange have provided his family with some comfort following his loss.
Gary also had a love of working on and riding motorcycles, a hobby he shared with his good friend Joel. He was an avid photographer, enjoyed being in nature, and was a gifted writer.
Gary had one sibling, a younger brother, Bobby. The two were close. In pictures, Gary often had his arm protectively around his brother’s shoulder. With his family, Gary shared happy memories of the many vacations they went on together – including camping and going to the beach. He also loved spending time with his extended family–especially his cousins and grandparents.
Despite his shyness, Gary had a number of close friends–his kindness a beacon for others. One friend, Erin, said “Gary would go out of his way to cheer someone up. He was such a good listener.” His friend Jami said that “He had a musical soul with an eloquent voice.” Although never married, Gary had several important relationships. His last one, with Ashley, was the “most significant,” his mother recalls. “They each told me they were soul mates.”
Gary’s kindness to others is a recurring theme throughout his life. His mother noted that he hated injustice and seeing others treated poorly. Even while incarcerated, his kindness extended to others as he helped a fellow inmate with reading and writing letters home.
Gary struggled with addiction for most of his adult life, but always maintained a goal of sobriety. According to his mother, he was ashamed when he relapsed and no matter how much she encouraged him, he had a very hard time surrendering. He would often isolate himself during these times.
Gary’s mom chooses to concentrate on the time she spent with him, their chats and learning about what he was doing. She particularly misses “hearing him sound hopeful for his future.”
Traci feels Gary’s greatest legacy is “inspiring people with his empathy and kindness.” Although shy, Gary was rich in friends and family–all of whom miss him now.
Gary’s mother, Traci Spain, provided the information for this narrative.
December 27, 1985-January 10, 2022-Age 36
Portrait artist: Jason Irwin
Narrative Writer: Justin Robertson
